FAQ

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Basics: about Engage

What is social dating?
Social dating is a completely new way to meet people online. Instead of meeting through tests or algorithm-a-thingies, on Engage you get introduced through friends and other people who use human intuition to bring you together. Only on Engage do you get handpicked matches, decide who's right for you, and get introduced.

If you're the fixer-upper type, we say you're here to "Play Matchmaker™". You get to pick matches for your single friends, vote and comment on matches others pick out, and make quickie intros on their behalf.

Ready to be a relationship maven or wingman extraordinaire? Join Engage!

How does social dating work?
First, you add friends. They can be single people who want to date or anyone (involved or not) who wants to Play Matchmaker™.

Here's what friends can do for each other:

• Handpick great matches for single friends
• Comment other people's matches to help them narrow the field
• Vote on other people's matches -- should it go further or stop at a suggestion?
• Make quickie introductions that break the ice for single friends
• Play fun games that bring singles together and earn Social Points

Why involve friends in your dating life?
We think the most meaningful introductions happen when friends fix you up. When friends fix you up, you get to giggle over all the possibilities, have heart-to-hearts, get advice, and hear what your friends think before you jump into anything. More importantly, friends can use real-live-human intuition to pick matches that a computer wouldn't have any feelings about.

Your friends know you better than any test or algorithm! That means they're uniquely able to pick out people who'd be good matches for you. Whether they connect you to someone they know or hand-pick another Engage member who seems just right, you get the benefit of a real live person bringing you together.

Most importantly, when people meet through friends, they tend to treat each other better. So even if you don't hit it off romantically, at least you've made another new friend who might help you meet one of their friends. And who knows where that could take you?

Does Engage support same-sex matches?
Yes. Engage is for everyone. You can fix up same-sex couples as long as they've both indicated that that's their preference when they registered for Engage.

How much does Engage cost?
A premium membership to Engage costs just $5.95/month. That's less than two lattes on a coffee date! Subscribe now to see everyone who's interested in you.

Why should I upgrade to a premium membership?
A premium membership to Engage reveals all the people who are considering you as matches for themselves. When you focus on people who are already open to communicating with you, you save time and focus your search. Plus, a premium membership gives you control over what happens next -- because you know where you stand before you get introduced.

How do I cancel a premium membership?
To cancel your premium membership at any time, click the "My Account" link on any page of the site and follow the instructions there. Please note that your premium subscription is separate from your main account and is billed through PayPal. If you ever want to cancel your Engage membership, first you'll need to cancel your premium subscription through PayPal in order for billing to stop.

Can an international member purchase a premium membership?
At this time we are not able to offer premium memberships for international members. We do welcome international members to use Engage's other non-premium features until we are able to expand our premium offering to meet your needs.

I have a billing question that wasn't answered here. How can I contact customer support?
For questions about your premium membership, please write to subscriptions<at>engage.com.

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Friends list and social feed

What's a friends list?
Your Friends list includes all the people you've added as Friends, who have accepted your invitations. Friends may be single or involved, and can be people who you're fixing up or who are here to fix you up.

Who should I add as friends?
To start, add the people you want to fix up or the people that you usually talk to about relationships and dating, like your BFFs, siblings, housemates, and co-workers. Friends can include your closest confidantes -- whether they're single or involved already. Of course, if you're here to meet new people, it's in your best interest to add lots of friends. Every friend you add multiplies your chances of making new connections.

How do I add friends?
From the People tab, click on the "+" button on the left side of the page. You can check to see if friends are already on Engage or invite friends to join. We'll send a quick email to your friend on your behalf. And when they reply, we'll add them to your Friend list, lickety-split!

What's up with the pink heart next to some Friends' names?
A pink heart means "Single and available to be fixed up!" No pink heart means "Ix-nay on the ates-day" because they're already involved.

How can I tell who's single?
Do you see a pink heart next to the person's name? That means they're single and available to be fixed up. No pink heart means they are here to Play Matchmaker™.

What does "What are you up to?" mean?
This is a link that lets you add your own message to the Social Feed, so you can tell you're friends what you're up to at any given moment. Just click the link and answer the question. For example, "Karen is crushed out on the new guy at work" or "Mike is learning to cook lasagne" or "Marjorie is wishing she could meet a guy with the looks of Adrian Grenier and the humor of Jon Stewart." Be creative and have fun with your messages! You can change your Social Feed messages as often as you like.

Can I receive my Social Feed as an email?
Yes! If you don't want to miss a moment of your friends' activities, we can send you your social feed in a daily email. To subscribe, go to the Profile tab and click "Edit communications preferences."

How do I add messages to the Social Feed?
Click the "What are you up to?" link in the Social Feed box. Then answer the question to tell your Friends what you're up to. Are you day dreaming? Crushing out on someone? Wishing you had the day off? Tell your friends!

Why am I getting invitations from strangers?
Something about your profile must be appealing! Aren't you charming? Well, you don't have to accept every Friends list invitation that comes your way, just the ones that interest you.

May I add non-members to my friends?
Yes. You can add friends who aren't yet members. Just specify an email address and we'll send an invite on your behalf. As soon as your friends sign up, they'll appear in your Friends list.

How do I remove friends?
Go to the About You page and select the friends list link. Find the friend you want to remove and click the ">> remove" link under the friend's name.

What happens when I upload my email address book to Engage?
We store your friends' contact information so you can easily connect with friends, fix people up, make suggestions, and get more out of using Engage. We will never email your friends or invite them to join Engage unless you explicitly choose to contact them through Engage.

How do I introduce someone to all my friends at once?
Go to your Friends list and click on your friend's name. On the "Your friend..." page, click the "Connect to My Friends" button. This is a great way to make sure all your Friends know each other.

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Your matches

Who appears in the "Are you interested?" tray?
These are Engage members who might be good matches for you (if you see the "For Me" button) or for single friends of yours. Remember that Engage is a social dating site -- that means you connect to more people through your friends! Be sure to read the "For..." button to see if someone is a prospect for you or someone else you know. You and your friends get to screen these prospects and decide whether they're worth getting to know further.

The faces you see here include people who might be right for you as well as people who might be right for friends of yours on Engage. If you see someone interesting click "Suggest to...". Then suggest them for yourself or for someone else you know.

If you're making the suggestion for yourself, you'll see that the person's face moves to the "Handpicked for you" section of the page. Next, ask your friends to vote on the suggestion or to comment on whether this is a good match. Remember: Suggestions are the same as pointing out someone in a crowd. The person you've suggested does not know that you're considering them -- so feel free to make lots of Suggestions for yourself and your friends!

Who's "Handpicked for you"?
This area of the People page shows Engage members that you and your friends have suggested as possible matches for you. A Suggestion is the same as pointing out someone cute in a crowd: The other person doesn't know that they've been suggested for you. That means you and your friends can vote on the suggestion and comment on the match before you start communicating. And if you or your friends vote that it's not a good fit, you don't have to go any further! That's the fun of social dating -- you get to hear the intuition of the real people who know you best, and they have fun giving you their input! To see more Suggestions, be sure to make Suggestions for your single friends. Then they'll return the favor.

When people show up in "Handpicked for you", you can review their profile, ask your friends to vote and comment on the suggestion, and decide whether you want to learn more. If your friends all say, "Go for it," and you're game, that's fabulous! Now you can ask any of your friends to make an introduction.

Someone made a suggestion for me. Now what?
Congratulations! Someone thinks you're fix up material. Doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy? To learn more about the person your friend suggested for you, go to the fix up page. If you think the match has potential, ask your Friends to vote on the fix up and tell you what they think about it. Once you get their arm chair analysis of the new cutie, tell the person who made the suggestion that you want to take the next step! Your matchmaking pal can start a Conversation with you and the new cutie so you can start to get to know each other. If you're both interested, you can take it from there!

Can I make a match private?
Yes. If you don't want everyone to see a match that was made for you, go to the fix up page and click "Make private". The fix up page is the page titles "You + {The Other Person's Name}". All the comments and the fix up will only appear to the people that you invite to comment on the fix up. After all, sometimes being social means throwing a private party!

Why should I get comments on my matches?
Your friends know you better than any test or algorithm and they bring human intuition to the process. Friends know your dating history and what type of person you're looking for. Plus, we think friends are uniquely able to say whether someone new is worthy of your attention!

Where can I view all my matches?
On the People tab, click "You" at the top left of the page.

Where can I view all my introductions?
Go to the Profile tab. Under "View your..." click the "Intros made" or "Intros received" link.

Do I have to ask friends to Play Matchmaker™?
Technically, you don't have to have matchmakers to use Engage. You can use the Search page to find interesting people, suggest them to yourself, and contact them (or their matchmakers) directly. But that would be like throwing a party and inviting only yourself to attend.

Where's the fun in that? That means no giggling, gossip, heart-to-heart chats with your BFFs, or second opinions from the people who know you best. Boohoo. We created Engage to put an end to that kind of solitary dating experience, so we hope you'll invite at least one or two trusted friends to be here with you. So don't be shy!

Even more importantly, having friends by your side helps people see that you're for real. We've found that you are much more likely to get a response when you approach someone through a friend or have a friend approach them on your behalf. That's why Engage is so much more fun and effective when you invite friends to Play Matchmaker™ for you.

I'm not showing up in search results. Why not?
If you just joined Engage, keep in mind that we review every profile before it’s posted to check for quality and appropriateness. This keeps the whole community more fun for everyone.

If you've waited a while and you're still not showing up in searches, go to the About You tab and make sure that you completed your profile and uploaded at least one photo.

In order to give all of our members a great experience, we give priority in our Search results to people who've completed their full profile and added a picture to their profile. After all, if other members can't glean any details from your profile, it will be hard to fix you up! To complete your profile or upload a picture, go to the About You tab.

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Playing matchmaker™

What does it mean to Play Matchmaker™?
Playing Matchmaker is about much more than making introductions. The most fun part of it is pointing out matches for your friends and voting and commenting on matches other people have picked for your friends. You get to see who your friends are considering -- and you can give you $0.02 to help them narrow the field.

Social dating works because of people like you who want to help single friends connect to new people. You can fix up people you know or people you've never met -- just put your intuition to good use and have fun with it. It's all good!

Do I have to introduce people?
No. There's lot more to Playing Matchmaker than just making intros (although it's super fun to bring together two people and see if they sizzle!). You can pick matches, comment and vote on matches, or just sit around looking glamorous and connect with friends while they meet new people.

If you want to break the ice for a friend, you can start a Conversation on your friend's behalf. To do so, click through to one member's profile. Click the Email him or Email her link to contact the member directly. Let them know you are Playing Matchmaker for a friend that you think they'd like.

Who appears in the "Should they meet"™ tray?
This is where we show you Engage members that your single friends might want to meet. You get to decide whether or not these matches are worth pointing out.

Who appears in "Handpicked for friends"?
"Handpicked for friends" shows other Engage members who have been suggested for your single friends. They may have been suggested by you, by other friends, or by your single friends themselves. When people show up here, you can comment and vote on them. You also get to peek inside your friend's social lives and see who they might date. Do these suggestions have potential? Tell your friends what you think!

What happens when I pick a match for a friend?
Let's say you're pointing out a guy named Mark to your friend Susan. Here's what happens:

1. On your Play matchmaker tab, Mark shows up in the "Should they meet?r" tray with Susan. You click "Yes!".
2. Mark moves to your "Handpicked for friends" list and he moves to Susan's "Handpicked for you" list. Susan will also receive an email to let her know she has a match to view on Engage.
3. Susan's Friends will see that Susan has a new match, because it will show up in their personal social feeds and in their Handpicked for Friends list.
4. Susan's Friends can vote on Susan + Mark and post chitchat comments on the Susan + Mark match page. If they want to say something top secret, they can make the chitchat private.
5. Votes and comments are only visible between freinds, so Mark won't know that your crew is talking about him and helping Susan decide whether she wants to date him.
6. If Susan likes Mark, she'll tell you how she wants to proceed. Any friend can make the introduction between Mark and Susan.

Where can I view all the introductions I've made?
Here's how to review all your handiwork: Go to the Profile tab. Under "View Your..." click "Suggestions made."

Where can I view all the introductions I've made?
Go to the Profile tab. Under "View Your..." click "Intros made."

Can I Play Matchmaker™ for strangers?
Yes. If you see two Engage members who seem like they would hit it off, you're welcome to approach one or both of them about fixing them up. Here are the rules of Engage-ment: You can suggest one of the members to the other member using the "Suggest to..." link. You can also start a Conversation with one of them and attach the other member's profile to the Conversation.

Keep in mind that Engage members may be more open to being fixed up if you approach them through their friends. If you want your suggestion to go over well, try contacting the friends of the two people you want to fix up. And if people say "No, thanks," to being set up by someone they don't know -- well, no harm, no foul. Don't take it personally. We <heart> you anyway!

I'm not here to date. How does Engage make that clear?
We never ever want to put our married and involved members in awkward situations. There are several different ways we protect you and make it super clear that you're not here to fool around:

1. We indicate your relationship status on your profile page.
2. When people add you to their Friends list, there is no pink heart next to your name.
   (Pink heart = single. No pink heart = not available/not looking/"happily involved, thanks"/just here to help!)
3. If someone tries to suggest you as a match for someone else, our system tells them
   your relationship status and prevents the fix up.

If you are married or involved and worried about what friends will say if you join a "dating site", remember that Engage isn't an old-school dating site. Engage is a community where friends introduce each other, using human intuition. You can be one of the people who meet or one of the people who does the introducing. It's all good! So there's a completely up-and-up, legitimate role for people like you who are already in happy relationships. And you can tell everyone we said so!

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Inbox

Do I have an Inbox?
Yes. To view all your current messages, click the Inbox tab.

What are Conversations?
The Conversations feature on Engage is an internal messaging system that lets you connect with other people to talk about any topic. You can send messages to friends on or off Engage. As you talk, you can view everyone's comments and easily add or remove people from the Conversation. You can also attach a profile to a Conversation, if you want to hear what your friends think about someone.

To start a Conversation, go to the Inbox tab and click "Start a Conversation."

How do I receive fewer Conversations notifications?
Go to the Profile tab and click "Edit communication preferences." There you can choose to receive just one email notification for all the Conversations messages you've received in one day.

How many people can I add to a Conversation?
Lots! Want to dish with a bunch of friends at once? Go for it. You can have an ongoing, threaded conversation on any topic you like. You can add non-members to your Conversation, too. Just type in their email addresses and we'll let them know you've sent a message.

What happens when I leave a Conversation?
If there's more than one person in the Conversation, the Conversation may continue without you. If you want to re-enter the Conversation, someone else will have to add you back in.

How can I subscribe/unsubscribe to Engage emails?
To change your subscription preferences, go to the Profile tab and click "Edit communication preferences." You'll go to the communications preferences page where you can change your subscription settings.

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Profile and personal information

How do I change my username, email address, and/or password?
Click the Your Account link, located at the top right of every page of the service. To change your username or email address, choose the Signup Information tab. To change your password, choose the Change Password tab.

How do I check my account status?
Sign in to Engage. Click the Your Account link (at the top right of every page). Click the Payment and Subscription tab. You’ll see your account status information.

How can I improve my profile?
Here are some tips to help your profile stand out:

1. Upload a photo. If you haven’t added a photo to your profile, be sure to do so. Without a photo, your profile won’t be prioritized in the "Are you interested?r" tray or in Engage search results. Also, members are less likely to respond to you if you don’t have a picture.
2. Surround yourself with friends. Each friend multiplies your chances to connect to someone new.
3. Be sure to complete your profile. If you haven’t already, make sure you’ve answered all the profile questions and write a fun headline.
4. Get active! When other members look at your profile, they can see whether you’re fixing up single friends, what your Social Points score is, and how you've commented on fix ups. You may be able to generate more introductions for yourself if you first make suggestions for your own single friends.
5. Ask friends, co-workers, and family members to add comments to your profile. When your friends speak up for you, other members take notice!
6. Give advice to other members. Remember: All your comments are visible from your own profile page. So when you give advice to others, you’re also subtly showing other members how you think and what you care about.

How do I update or edit my profile?
You can update your profile any time. Just click the About You tab, go to the Profile section of the page, and select Basic Details.

Why should I add photos to my profile?
You don’t want to miss out on any fun, do you? If you’re single, your profile won’t show up in search results unless you’ve added a photo. If you’re here to Play Matchmaker™, singles are 15 times more likely to accept your introductions if you add a photo to your profile.

If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for your friends! When singles peek at each other’s profiles, they like to see friendly faces. That means your own high quality picture makes your single friends look even better.

How do I add, remove, or change my photos?
Go to the About You tab and click Photos. To add a new photo, click the Browse... button and locate the photo (or photos) you wish to add. (You can add up to three photos at a time.) To add the photos click Upload Photos. Our Member Services team will quickly review your photos. As soon as your pictures are approved (usually in less than 24 hours), they’ll show up on your profile.

What photo file formats can I use?
Pretty much any standard Web format will do, including .jpg, .gif, .bmp, or .png files. The pictures can be up to 1.5 MB in size.

How long will it take for my photo to appear?
Our Member Services team personally reviews every photo, which can take up to 24 hours. As long as your picture meets the Engage photo guidelines, it will be approved and posted to your profile.

My photo was not approved. Why not?
There are a few possible reasons, most of which are our ways of helping you look your best or protecting your (or someone else's) privacy.

Here's the skinny: Since this is a social site, it's important for all our members to show themselves in a good light. That means posting clear pictures that make it easy to see your face. We can't accept pictures of someone else (like movie stars), copyrighted images (like cartoons), pictures of kids, or dark, grainy images that show you in the shadows. We know that a little mystery can be alluring, but not when it comes to showing your face! If your photo was not approved, you'll receive an email from our Member Services team explaining the steps you can take to correct the problem.

What are Engage's photo guidelines?
To be approved as your primary photo, a picture has to clearly show at least 3/4 of your own face. (Sorry, no celebrity stand-ins, cartoon characters, or other copyrighted images.) Also, we can't post explicit, obscene, or overly suggestive pictures, or pictures of kids. We're also picky when it comes to protecting your privacy, so be careful not to use pictures that show your home address, workplace, or license plate. Please use your best judgment when you post and we'll let you know if a photo isn't approved for some reason. All photos are subject to cropping.

What is a primary photo?
A primary photo is the picture of you that appears over your Friends list. This same picture appears next to your name on your Profile page, on the People page, and in your friends' Friends lists.

How do I change my primary photo?
First, upload the photo that you want to use as your new primary photo and wait until our Member Services team approves it (usually within 24 hour or less). Now, to replace your old primary photo with the new picture you've uploaded, go to About You and click Manage Photos. Go to the photo you want to use as your new primary photo. Select the radio button underneath the photo. Click Done.

How do I remove a photo?

1. Sign in to Engage.
2. Go to the About You tab.
3. Click the Manage your photos link.
4. Go to the photo you want to remove. Select Delete under the photo.

How do I change my relationship status?
Click the Your Account link. Click the Signup Information tab. Under "Relationship Status" use the dropdown list to change to make the change.

How do I cancel my account?
Do you really want to leave us? Boo hoo! If met someone special and you’re no longer single, please consider staying on to Play Matchmaker™ for single friends. If you’re leaving for another reason, please let us know how we can make the Engage experience better. We hope you're leaving because you met someone special.

To cancel your account, click the Your Account link at the top right of any page. Click the Payment and Subscription Info tab. Click the Cancel My Account Link. We'll lead you through a couple of easy questions and then deactivate your account. If you’re leaving because you met someone on Engage, please share your experience to inspire others!

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Privacy and dating safety

What are Engage's community guidelines?
Engage welcomes all adults, as long as they behave appropriately. That means keep it legal, keep it clean, and be nice to each other. Check out Engage's Terms of Use, to learn more about appropriate behavior when using the site.

Is there a way for me to remain anonymous?
Nope. Because Engage is a social community of friends, we display your first name and username to all other members. We find that displaying first names keeps everyone more friendly and accountable for their own behavior, just like going to a party at a friend's house instead of a stranger's.

If a member gives you their personal email address and you send them an email using your personal email address, the recipient will see your real email address. To protect your email, be sure to communicate with other members through Engage.

When you write to non-members that you know, we display your email address as a reply email address. This helps your friends and family recognize that the message was sent by you.

How can I stay safe online?
Although Engage is a community of friends, it's important to protect your personal information until you have a very good sense of the person you're interacting with. For that reason, we recommend that you never reveal your address, phone number, place of employment, personal email address, or any other personal information until you have the reassurances you need to feel comfortable doing so. Even if you meet someone through a friend's fix up, you should proceed cautiously and take time to feel out the situation before you give out your contact information or agree to meet one on one.

How does Engage protect my personal information?
Your privacy is very important to us, so we treat your personal information and address book contacts with great care. Please check out our entire Privacy Policy to see how we safeguard your information. Engage has earned the Habeas Web Seal, which means we use best practices in our emails and do our best to prevent contacting you when you don't want to hear from us. Habeas is a professional reputation checker. They conduct thorough assessments of companies to make sure they're sending legitimate email and using best practices for managing their subscriptions. We're very proud to say our email practices meet Habeas Safelist Requirements.

I'm single and I'm getting emails from a married person who wants to date. What should I do?
Engage is a fun, social community -- and this member’s behavior clearly goes against our mission. To help us keep Engage on the up and up for everyone, please report this person’s inappropriate behavior to our Member Services team. We’ll check out the situation and take action as needed.

To report abuse of our community guidelines, please follow these steps:

1. Click through to the person’s profile page.
2. On their profile page, click the More button. Then select Report Abuse.
3. Our staff personally reviews every complaint and we’ll take action on it right away.

You can also email our Member Services team directly at support@engage.com. Please provide as much detail as possible in your email so we can resolve the issue as quickly as possible.

I'm getting inappropriate messages. How do I stop them?
Go to the Conversation where you've received an inappropriate message. Click the "Report abuse" link next to the offensive message.

You can also email our Member Services team directly at support@engage.com. Please provide as much detail as possible in your email so we can resolve the issue as quickly as possible.

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Social points

What are Social Points?
Social dating is all about helping people connect. So whenever you do something that knits our little community together, we give you points. You and your friends can compete to see who gets the most points. Check our Social Climber boards to see how you and your friends stack up!

How do I earn Social Points? What are the levels?
You get Social Points any time you do any of the following activities:

1. Add a friend
2. Suggest a fix up for a friend
3. Vote on a fix up
4. Post a comment on a fix up
5. Make an introduction
6. Connect someone to all your friends
7. Add a photo to your profile
8. Complete a set of 10 friends

You can always check your points and see how you rank against your friends. Just go to the About You tab and click View your... Social Points.

Here's how the levels break down:

Your Social Points	Engage Social Status
0 to 499	Level 1 - Off to a great start!
500 to 1999	Level 2 - Starting to make connections.
2000 to 9999	Level 3 - Your influence is growing!
10000 to 49999	Level 4 - Now you've got social power.
50000 and up!	Level 5 - Welcome to the Engage Elite!

What is the Suggestion Scoreboard?
The Suggestion Scoreboard shows how many fix ups you've suggested, compared to your friends. Use it to see how you rank -- and challenge each other to make more suggestions, more often!

What is the Cast Your Vote™ game?
The Cast Your Vote game is a fun way to help decide who should meet on Engage. The game gives single members a quick, easy way to tap the intuition of the entire Engage community. To play, just go to the People tab and scroll to the bottom. You’ll see one single person on the left and three possible matches for them on the right. Just click one of the prospects to vote for them and see how your votes compare to the public consensus. Then keep voting for more couples!

What if I see someone in the Cast Your Vote™ game who seems right for a single friend of mine?
You can introduce them! Just click the She’s for my friend or He’s for my friend button under the Cast Your Vote participant’s picture. Then you can introduce your friend to the person you found in the Cast Your Vote. When you send your introduction, be sure to say why you think these two should meet.

What if I see someone in the Cast Your Vote™ game who seems right for me? I'm single and I think we'd make a great match.
If you are single, you can send a direct email to anyone in the Cast Your Vote game. Click their picture to go to their profile. Then suggest the person for yourself. We'll help you send an email directly to the member you like.

I'm interested in having members vote on matches for me. How do I get into the Cast Your Vote™ game?
To participate in the Cast Your Vote game, follow these steps:

1. Click on the About You tab.
2. Click Edit communication preferences.
3. Select the Let others recommend a match for me Checkbox.

Remember, only single members can be in the Cast Your Vote pool.